Tease: Which upcoming NFL game is being dubbed the Tank Bowl? I’ll tell you at ______
Get ready for Tank Bowl 2019, the Miami Dolphins and the Washington Redskins, two winless teams, will face off this Sunday in Miami. The Redskins are so bad they fired their coach at 5:30am on Monday and the Dolphins have been outscored 163 to 26 so far this season. Tickets are a measly $16 to watch this dumpster fire of a game. A fair price to watch two teams try not to win in an effort to get a draft pick that they will inevitably screw up. (Additional out) Roughly the same cost as a single beer at a good team’s stadium.
Tease: I’ll tell you which movie critics say to save your money on, coming up in ______ minutes
Former Fresh Prince and fan of getting jiggy with it, Will Smith, might have just released another dud. The new Sci Fi action-thriller Gemini Man, where he fights himself, is currently sitting at 38% on Rotten Tomatoes. The movie officially opens in theaters nationwide this weekend. Critics are saying the film is quote “Fatally undermined by a frustratingly subpar story”. Which is nerd talk for the script sucks. (Additional Out) Apparently the only thing worse than having one Will Smith in your movie is having two.
Tease: What did a Physicist Father 3D Print for his Son? A) A Lamborghini Aventador, B) A helicopter, C) An Iron Man Suit. I’ll tell you at ___________
A Colorado Physicist just scored a bunch of Dad Points by 3D printing a Lamborghini Aventador for his son. His 11-year-old boy apparently fell in love with the car after driving it on Xbox’s Forza and asked his dad if they could build one. The man stepped up and did it on a mere $20,000 budget, working side by side with his son to create a working replica of the supercar from a 3D Printer. That’s impressive, most fathers would just sarcastically say “Sure son,” before cracking a beer and returning their attention to the game…. I had a great childhood…. (Additional Out) Officially setting the birthday present bar unreasonably high for the next seven years.
Tease: Coming up at ________ you’ll never believe where a professor spent 190k of University money.
It’s not rare for people to be a little loose with company money, expensing a lunch with a friend, stealing a few office supplies. But, this guy took it to new heights. A Drexel University professor used roughly $190,000 in federal grants at strip clubs and on other improper purchases. The school has agreed to repay the money Professor Nwankpa spent over a ten year period on Itunes purchases and for “Goods and Service” provided by “performers” at Cheerleaders, Club Risqu and Tacony Club. The issues were revealed during an internal audit, so in other words somebody from the school saw him at the strip club. (Additional Out) When reached for comment the man took the dollar out of his mouth and said ‘My bad.”
Phone Topic: A Cincinnati Bengals fan is sleeping on his roof in a tent until the Bengals win one game. What’s the silliest thing you’ve ever done to try and will your team to win?
Contest Tease: Science says that owning one of these will help you live longer, the correct answer wins _______ coming up at ___________
[Contest setup] According to research published by the American Heart Association, scientists say that owning one of these pets will help you live longer?
A: A Cat
B: A Horse
C: A Dog
Answer: B, the study found that dog owners are likely to live longer than people that don’t have dogs and have a twenty four percent risk reduction of death from any cause. To their credit though, Cats will wait a solid three or four days before eating you when you do die.
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5 Things You Need to Know
1) It’s almost time for Tank Bowl 2019, the Miami Dolphins and the Washington Redskins, two winless teams, will face off this Sunday in Miami. The Redskins are so bad they fired head coach Jay Gruden at 5:30am on Monday and the Dolphins have been outscored 163 to 26 so far this season. Tickets are a measly $16 to watch this dumpster fire of a game. Roughly the same cost as a single beer at a good team’s stadium.
2) It appears that Former Fresh Prince and fan of getting jiggy with it, Will Smith, might have just released another dud. The new Sci Fi action-thriller Gemini Man, where he fights himself, is currently sitting at 38% on Rotten Tomatoes. The movie officially opens in theaters nationwide this weekend. Critics are saying the film is “Fatally undermined by a frustratingly subpar story”. Because the only thing worse than having one Will Smith in your movie is having two.
3) A Colorado Physicist just scored a bunch of Dad Points by 3D printing a Lamborghini Aventador for his son. His 11-year-old boy apparently fell in love with the car after driving it on the Xbox game Forza and asked his dad if they could build one. The man stepped up and did it on a mere $20,000 budget, working side by side with his son to create a working replica of the supercar from a 3D Printer. Officially setting the birthday present bar unreasonably high for the next seven years.
4) It’s not rare for people to be a little loose with company money, expensing a lunch with a friend, stealing a few office supplies. But, this guy took it to new heights. A Drexel University professor used roughly $190,000 in federal grants at strip clubs and on other improper purchases. The school has agreed to repay the money Professor Nwankpa spent over a ten year period on Itunes purchases and for “Goods and Service” provided by “performers” at Cheerleaders, Club Risqu and Tacony Club. The issues were revealed during an internal audit, so in other words somebody from the school saw him at the strip club.
5) Owning a dog will help you live longer. According to research published by the American Heart Association, dog owners are likely to live longer than people that don’t have dogs and they have a twenty four percent risk reduction of death from any cause. To their credit though, Cats will wait a solid three or four days before eating you when you do die.
Craziest Things We’ve Done For Our Teams
A Cincinnati Bengals fan just announced that he’s sleeping on his roof in a tent until the Bengals win one game. The Bengals are currently 0-5 sitting in the basement of the AFC North. So, we asked our ________ listener to tell us the silliest things they’ve ever done to try and will their team to win. Click below to hear the best responses.
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