NOTE: Subscribers can download the DIY graphics, sales one sheets and audio clips on the Show Prep page here with their login or in the shared Dropbox folder.  

Tease: Coming up in ___________ minutes, the crisis on the Texas border continues  

Texas Governor Greg Abbott approved a miles-long ‘steel barrier’ of vehicles to deter migrants at the border. There are still 8,600 Haitian migrants camped under a bridge in Del Rio, Texas. According to two U.S. officials many migrants from the camps are being released into the U.S., undercutting the White House’s public statements that they faced immediate deportation. Just another example of our state and federal governments working together seamlessly. (Additional out) So it looks like two officials need to get their resumes ready.  

Tease: In ___­­­­___ minutes, Lionel Messi won’t be the highest paid footballer for long  

Cristiano Ronaldo is set to leapfrog Lionel Messi as the highest paid football player in the world, according to Forbes. Currently Ronaldo’s long-time rival Messi holds that title, earning $110 million this year. But following his move back to Manchester United, Critiano Ronaldo is forecast to earn $125 million before taxes. Apparently, I should’ve spent less time tossing the baseball around in the backyard growing up and more time kicking a soccer ball. (Additional Out) Or roughly 1.25 million per flop.  

Tease: Coming up at ­­­­­­­­­­­­_____, the search continues for person of interest Brian Laundrie  

The FBI is asking for the public’s help finding Gabby Petito’s fiancé as new tips emerge about his previous movements. Brian Laundrie returned home from a cross country road trip without 22-year-old Gabby Petito. Her remains were positively identified yesterday, with the cause of death listed as a homicide. Laundrie’s parents told investigators he was at a Florida nature reserve but an extensive search has yielded no results. When they find him he ought to share a cell with his parents and lawyer who’ve been lying to police this whole time. (Additional out) I’ve watched enough Dateline’s to know that this guy is 100% guilty.  

Tease: In _____ minutes, the exact time fall begins today  

Today at 3:21pm (Easter Time, 12:21pm Pacific Time) fall will officially begin. That’s when we enter our second and final equinox of 2021. During the equinox, everyone from pole to pole gets to enjoy roughly a 12-hour split of day and night. Plus, you can walk outside again without bursting into flames. (Additional out) Which would matter to me if I still went outside.  

Phone Topic/Web Poll: Dancing With the Stars returned this week for it’s 30th season. In its long run the show’s had some surprisingly good celebrity dancers and a handful of others who seemed to lack any and all rhythm. What do you think, since the show began, who has been the worst contestant on Dancing With the Stars dancing-wise? Master P, Kim Kardashian, David Hasselhoff, Steve Wozniak, Kate Gosselin, Evander Holyfield, Geraldo Rivera, Mischa Barton, Michael Bolton, or someone else?  

Contest Tease: Contest Tease: Coming up at _____________, what are the odds of a golfer doing this? The correct answer wins ________.    

[Contest setup] An 11-year-old defied unbelievable odds and drained two holes-in-one during a single round. Jake Martinez from Tuscon accomplished the feat at the 2021 Palm Springs Open. What are the odds of hitting two holes-in-one in a single round?  

A: 1 in 6.7 million  

B: 1 in 67 million  

C: 1 in 670 million  

Answer: B, according to the National Hole-In-One Registry the chances of knocking in two aces within a single round are 1 in 67 million. If I were that kid I’d be hustling people at Putt Putt golf every weekend.  

[DIY Feature] What in the World Wednesday: I’ll give you riddle clues about a place, person or thing and the first person to guess it correctly wins _________. If no one gets it I’ll give you more clues.  

Hint: Famous person  

Clue 1: Actress born in New Orleans  

Clue 2: Married to Ryan Phillippe from ‘99 to ‘08  

Clue 3: Won the Academy Award for Best Actress in 2006 for her role in Walk the Line  

Answer: Reese Witherspoon  

5 Things You Need to Know  

1) Texas Governor Greg Abbott approved a miles-long ‘steel barrier’ of vehicles to deter migrants at the border. There are still 8,600 Haitian migrants camped under a bridge in Del Rio, Texas. According to two U.S. officials many migrants from the camps are being released into the U.S., undercutting the White House’s public statements that they faced immediate deportation. Just another example of our state and federal governments working together seamlessly.  

2) Cristiano Ronaldo is set to leapfrog Lionel Messi as the highest paid football player in the world, according to Forbes. Currently Ronaldo’s long-time rival Messi holds that title, earning $110 million this year. But following his move back to Manchester United, Critiano Ronaldo is forecast to earn $125 million before taxes. Or roughly 1.25 million per flop.  

3) The FBI is asking for the public’s help finding Gabby Petito’s fiancé as new tips emerge about his previous movements. Brian Laundrie returned home from a cross country road trip without 22-year-old Gabby Petito. Her remains were positively identified yesterday, with the cause of death listed as a homicide. Laundrie’s parents told investigators he was at a Florida nature reserve but an extensive search has yielded no results. I’ve watched enough Dateline’s to know that this guy is 100% guilty. 

4) Today at 3:21pm (Easter Time, 12:21pm Pacific Time) fall will officially begin. That’s when we enter our second and final equinox of 2021. During the equinox, everyone from pole to pole gets to enjoy roughly a 12-hour split of day and night. Plus, you can walk outside again without bursting into flames.  

5) An 11-year-old defied unbelievable odds and drained two holes-in-one during a single round. Jake Martinez from Tuscon accomplished the feat at the 2021 Palm Springs Open. What are the odds of hitting two holes-in-one in a single round? A) 1 in 6.7 million, B) 1 in 67 million, or C) 1 in 670 million. ANSWER: B, according to the National Hole-In-One Registry the chances of knocking in two aces within a single round are 1 in 67 million. If I were that kid I’d be hustling people at Putt Putt golf every weekend.  

Who’s the Worst Dancing With The Stars Contestant of All-Time?  

Dancing With the Stars returned this week for it’s 30th season. In its long run the show’s had some surprisingly good celebrity dancers and a handful of others who seemed to lack any and all rhythm. What do you think, since the show began, who has been the worst contestant on Dancing With the Stars dancing-wise? We posed that question to our  _________ listeners, click below to hear their responses, take the web poll below to weigh in, then listen tomorrow at _______ to hear the results.  

(Upload audio from your best calls)  

(Web poll)  

Since the show began, who has been the worst contestant on Dancing With the Stars dancing-wise?  

Master P  

Kim Kardashian  

David Hasselhoff  

Steve Wozniak  

Kate Gosselin  

Evander Holyfield  

Geraldo Rivera  

Mischa Barton  

Michael Bolton  

(Other suggestions from on-air)