NOTE: Subscribers can download the DIY graphics, sales one sheets and audio clips on the Show Prep page here with their login or in the shared Dropbox folder.  

Tease: Coming up in ___________ minutes, the first American vaccinated  

Sandra Lindsay, a critical care nurse in Queens, was the first American to participate in the mass vaccination program for Covid-19. Afterwards she said, “I feel like healing is coming.” Remarkably, the Covid vaccines were developed ten times faster than most vaccines and four times faster than the previous record.  Apparently, a global pandemic and simultaneous economic disaster is a great motivator. (Additional out) But not quite as fast as Putin’s pretend vaccine.  

Tease: In ___­­­­___ minutes, this heavily anticipated video game is offering refunds  

The maker of Cyberpunk 2077 is offering refunds after players on base last-gen consoles complained of glitches and poor visuals. According to many user reviews the heavily anticipated game works well on high-end gaming PCs but has a lot of issues on PS4 and Xbox One. The developer, CD Projekt Red, says patches are on the way to address issues and in the meantime disappointed players can ask for refunds. Or they can just keep making memes and complaining on Twitter. (Additional out) Sounds like a clever plan to get everyone to upgrade to the new consoles.  

Tease: Coming up at ­­­­­­­­­­­­_____, why you might have trouble finding a tree  

If you haven’t put up a tree yet, you better hurry. The US has a Christmas tree shortage. Across the country many tree lots and farms have sold out of their largest trees and some are closing early because of a lack of inventory. A surge in demand this year because of people celebrating at home has caused the shortage. But remember, you can always Clark Griswald it and drive out into the woods to cut down your own. (Additional out) Unlike the toilet paper shortage which was caused by morons.  

Tease: In _____ minutes, the Bachelor is down to just four men  

It’s down to Ben, Ivan, Zac and Brendan on The Bachelorette. Tayshia Adams made her picks official and cut it down to four men. On tonight’s episode, instead of the typical hometown dates, the final four and their families will spend time with Tayshia at a Palm Springs resort. But, it’ll be hard to top last night’s drama, when Tayshia had to brutally dump four guys in a single episode. Including the guy who got aroused by chakra crystals for some reason. (Additional Out) At that point you should just break up via group text.  

Phone Topic/Web Poll: Thanks to the ongoing pandemic Santa has had to call an audible this year and allow children to partake in socially distanced Santa visits. Malls around the country are giving families a personalized and safe experience by putting Santa behind snow-globe like barriers. Have you participated in a socially distanced Santa visit and, if so, what did you think?  

Contest Tease: Coming up at _____________, how did one woman get revenge on a package thief? The correct answer wins ________.  

[Contest setup] A Canadian woman came up with a creative way to get some sweet revenge on a package thief. After having a number of packages stolen from her porch over the years, what did Ontario’s Laurie Pringle do to fight back?  

A: Filled a box with cat poop  

B: Installed a trap door  

C: Created a glitter bomb  

Answer: A, Pringle filled a box with cat poop and left it on the porch and within forty minutes the theft was caught on camera. Which had to be confusing to the cat, ‘Ok first she was just collecting it, which was weird enough, but now she’s shipping it to people?’ (Additional Out) I guess technically her cat filled it with poop, she just boxed it up and threw on a label.  

[DIY Feature] Knockout Trivia Tuesday: I’ll ask a question on air, if you call in and correctly answer it you’ll have twenty seconds to answer three more questions to win ________. If no one gets it, we’ll move on to round 2.  

Round 1:  

General question: Who played Fatine in the 2012 film adaptation of Les Miserables? (Anne Hathaway)  

Follow Up Questions:  

Who did Prince William marry at Westminster Abbey in 2011? (Kate Middleton)  

Who has the most catches in NFL history at the tight end position? (Tony Gonzalez)  

What are the first three US states in alphabetical order? (Alabama, Alaska Arizona)  

Round 2:  

General question: What medical TV comedy had 181 episodes? (Scrubs)  

Follow up questions:  

What superhero works at The Daily Planet? (Superman)  

The average height of what Christmas decoration is seven feet? (A Christmas Tree)  

What band did Bill Berry, Peter Buck, Mike Mills and Michael Stipe start in Georgia in 1980? (R.E.M.)  

5 Things You Need to Know  

1) Sandra Lindsay, a critical care nurse in Queens, was the first American to participate in the mass vaccination program for Covid-19. Afterwards she said, “I feel like healing is coming.” Remarkably, the Covid vaccines were developed ten times faster than most vaccines and four times faster than the previous record.  But not quite as fast as Putin’s pretend vaccine.  

2) The maker of Cyberpunk 2077 is offering refunds after players on base last-gen consoles complained of glitches and poor visuals. According to many user reviews the heavily anticipated game works well on high-end gaming PCs but has a lot of issues on PS4 and Xbox One. The developer, CD Projekt Red, says patches are on the way to address issues and in the meantime disappointed players can ask for refunds. Or they can just keep making memes and complaining on Twitter.  

3) If you haven’t put up a tree yet, you better hurry. The US has a Christmas tree shortage. Across the country many tree lots and farms have sold out of their largest trees and some are closing early because of a lack of inventory. A surge in demand this year because of people celebrating at home has caused the shortage. Unlike the toilet paper shortage which was caused by morons.  

4) It’s down to Ben, Ivan, Zac and Brendan on The Bachelorette. Tayshia Adams made her picks official and cut it down to four men. On tonight’s episode, instead of the typical hometown dates, the final four and their families will spend time with Tayshia at a Palm Springs resort. But, it’ll be hard to top last night’s drama, when Tayshia had to brutally dump four guys in a single episode. Including the guy who got aroused by chakra crystals for some reason.  

5) A Canadian woman came up with a creative way to get some sweet revenge on a package thief. After having a number of packages stolen from her porch over the years, Ontario’s Laurie Pringle filled a box with cat poop and left it on the porch and within forty minutes the theft was caught on camera. Which had to be confusing to the cat, ‘Ok first she was just collecting it, which was weird enough, but now she’s shipping it to people?’  

What Do You Think of Socially Distanced Santa Visits?  

Thanks to the ongoing pandemic Santa has had to call an audible this year and allow children to partake in socially distanced Santa visits. Malls around the country are giving families a personalized and safe experience by putting Santa behind snow-globe like barriers. Have you participated in a socially distanced Santa visit and, if so, what did you think? We posed that question to our  _________ listeners, click below to hear their responses, take the web poll below to weigh in, then listen tomorrow at _______ to hear the results.  

(Upload audio from your best calls)  

(Web poll)  

Have you participated in a socially distanced Santa visit?  

Yes  

No  

If so, what did you think?  

We loved it  

It was ok  

Wasn’t worth it  

(Other suggestions from on-air)